:: Reflect on myself? ::

Do I really have to reflect on myself? Was I in the wrong? I really duno.
A call frm xxx xxxx at ard 7.30pm that woke mi up from my sleep. He wanted to mit mi? Was I wrong not to mit?
No one ever scolded all vulgar words on mi. I hate ppl using these words on others. Even if I were in the wrong, u dun have the rights to use these bad words on mi. To believe u or not, it's up to mi. What do u mean by it's not up to me to believe u anot? Can't I judge by myself? I noe I am not god or watever, u dun have to say tat... But I believe I have the choice to make my own decision.
If u had told mi these mths back, then I can tell u, it would be a different story. But rite now, I dun think so. Coz no matter wat happens in future, I'll still have tis knot stuck in me. I regretted going to ur hse, but to see someone else there. I was devastated when I saw the sms sent by ur mum... And hw u told mi that we should juz treat that we duno each other and that u were screwed up by ur mum, etc...
I really cannot take it. Deem wat u say abt mi. Of coz I noe I am not the perfect person on earth. I also never said tat. but hw abt u? If u were in my shoes, if ur sis were in my shoes, how would u react?
so many things happened throughout these mths.. and all the while, u'd onli expect mi to believe ur each and every words? Hw true are they? How do I noe u r telling the truth? I used to blindly believe u, but in the end, wat did I get in return?
Can't I just make my choice to leave things as they are... I don't want anymore things out from this whole issue?
Or put it in another way, I am a lousy person, a materialistic person, not worthly of u... Like u say, there are so many other ppl out there... waiting for u... not juz me alone...
So juz take it tat I am the one in the wrong... Not u...
Juz take it that I had given up all hope long ago...