It's just another routine day in my life...
Work->Go home -> Greet mum -> Talking to her -> Outcome = conflicts & misunderstandings -> back to my room feeling upset -> go to bed -> dad's live drama -> Bad Nightmare -> Time to wake up ...
Haiz~ I'm really feeling unhappy... Did I make a wrong decision to not suit wat they want? Should I just avoid trouble and let others control my life? So long as others are happy, I should be happy??
But I'm not happy. I don't want anyone to be unhappy... but how come it seems that I can't get the best of both worlds? Both parties aren't happy. Neither am I. My life is really in an entire mess. I don't see happiness.. I don't see any future. All I see is a dark hole. Even if i try, can I succeed? Or am I just trapped? Trapped within me or trapped within all problems?
I'm labelled a bad daughter and a useless daughter. She said I am heartless. I don't take care of the family. I don't treasure her. I don't have any feelings for the family. That I only want to fly away from this home... But did I?
That wasn't my intention. But the more she says it and accuses me... the more i feel so upset. I don't have a proper someone to tell my troubles and unhappiness to. The more I 'Eat' in and absorb in all these, the more unbalanced and unhappy I become..
I duno how long I can take it.. I am confused. If I give up everything, would everyone be happier? What would happen if I just follow what every commands and orders that they want or wish me to do?
Sometimes I just feel like leaving everyone and live my own quiet life... but i know myself. I most likely won't be able to do this. Too unfeeling for me already. But my 2 families are now on rocks... how long can I hold on?